The Walking Dead Recap: S3E6 "Hounded"

This week on The Walking Dead, we finally are heading towards a Cell Block C/Woodbury collision.

We find Merle and a group of Woodbury flunkies out in the woods on the hunt for Michonne. They've been given orders to kill her, and even after they find a message spelled out in walker body parts (Go Back) by Michonne, Merle insists they persist. Merle screams taunts after Michonne, and she literally gets the drop on them and takes out two of the flunkies. During the fracas, walkers attack, Michonne gets covered in zombie bits and Merle shoots her in the leg as she escapes. Merle kills the last remaining flunkie in order to make a cover story to the Governor that Michonne is indeed dead. "She's in the Red Zone, she's dead anyway".

The phone down in Cell Block C is still ringing, and Rick finds a woman on the other end who says they are in a safe place whose location she can't reveal. Rick implores her to let them join, as he has a son and a newborn. Rick is told someone will call back in two hours. This time it's a man on the other line, and he wants to know how Rick lost his wife. He hangs up on Rick when Rick doesn't want to answer, and we begin to suspect that this is all in Rick's damn mind, and he's truly lost it. Hershel joins Rick downstairs, thanking him for saving his life with the amputation. Rick divulges the info about the phone call, and you can tell Hershel thinks Rick has gone looney tunes. Herschel offers to stay and talk to the people on the phone, but Rick sends him packing. The woman is back on the phone and urges Rick to talk about his wife.

Back over in Woodbury, Andrea is using her "charm" to get a job on the wall, taking out walkers. She gets a bit overzealous, jumping off the wall to stab a walker that her co-worker couldn't seem to shoot with a bow. This is a no-no, so Andrea is called out on the carpet to the Governor. No worries though, because Andrea's been practically begging for a boning from him since she hit Woodbury, and after a little whiskey, she gets what she wants. HOW THE HELL does she not see how effing psychotic he is? I seriously, seriously hate this actress, who seems to prescribe to the Kristen Stewart Acting School and has only one facial expression. Let her be Zombie Alpo already!!

Maggie and Glenn are out searching for baby formula and ammo, and as luck would have it, they find a crap ton of formula and...Merle. Are you fucking kidding me?!! Now, Maggie and Glenn have their guns drawn, and if I was Glenn, I would have shot Merle in the leg and hightailed it out of there. But Glenn is a dumbass. When Merle finds out his brother is alive, he wants to be taken to him. Glenn wants Merle to wait there and he'll bring Daryl to him. Now, anybody who's been around Merle for two minutes knows that shit is not going to fly. Merle manages to get the upper hand, takes Maggie by gunpoint, and forces Glenn to drive them to Woodbury. Michonne has watched all this trangress from behind some stalled cars. I was really hoping she would jump in and cut off Merle's head. Back in Woodbury, Merle interrupts The Governor's afterglow with a bullshit story about Michonne's "death" and informs him about their newest "visitors". The Governor chooses not to divulge this to Andrea and goes back for Round 2.

Back at the prison, the phone's ringing again, and this time it's LORI on the line and we know that Rick has flown over the cuckoo's nest. Ah, but it's his cathartic moment, and as he spews his "I Love You's", he's reminded that he has a newborn.

Earlier in the episode, Daryl led a small group to clear out walkers inside the prison and had found Carol's knife stuck in a walker's neck. We find him at the end of the episode, outside of a cell door that we assume has Zombie Carol inside of it. Daryl is visibly upset, but finally steels himself to open the door and put Zombie Carol out of her misery. BUT WAIT, Carol is alive and very much not zombiefied!! Daryl picks her up and heads back to Cell Block C and I rejoiced!!

ALL THE FEELS!!!!

 Rick heads back to the rest of the gang, and finally holds his newborn. The show seems to suggest that the collect call from heaven has cured Rick's insanity. As they head outside, something catches Rick's eye, and as he scans across the line of walkers around the prison fence, we see Michonne. Michonne is loaded with baby formula, and has found the key to moving unmolested amongst the walkers - being covered in their entrails! Score!

 I personally cannot wait until next week's episode, as I have been patiently waiting for Michonne to join the group at Cell Block C, and I really want to see her and Daryl unleash a giant can of whoop ass on the Governor.

Thoughts?

American Horror Story Asylum Recap: S2E5 "I Am Anne Frank Part 2"

Oh American Horror Story, you are by far my favorite series on television right now, and Episode 5, "I Am Anne Frank Part 2", was no disappointment. If you haven't watched, be warned that there is major spoilers ahead.

AHS opens this episode with an out-of-habit Sister Jude meeting with what turns out to be a Nazi Hunter. Sister Jude passes on a file to Mr Goodman, and learns that through a government program called "Operation Paper Clip", many Nazi doctors were brought into the States with fake identities. Goodman stresses to Sister Jude not to directly confront Dr Arden until he has completed his investigation.

Meanwhile, Anne Frank has drug Dr Arden by gunpoint into Sister Jude's office. She finds Sister Satan instead, and is then apprehended by one of the guards. Anne eventually comes to, and finds herself in a straight jacket and confronted by Sister Jude. She implores Sister Jude to search Dr Arden's office for the legless monster she saw. Anne again stressed that Dr Arden is a Nazi and must be stopped. A montage shows that Sister Jude finds nothing suspect in the lab. Sister Satan has gone and cleaned up all his dirty work. A man then shows up at the Asylum, claiming that Anne Frank is actually his wife, Charlotte Brown, who went bat shit after having a baby who keeps her up all night with colicky fussing. Charlotte became obsessed with Anne Frank after seeing a play in Boston. Montages of Charlotte/Anne play out, showing her unravel and even giving herself the Auschwitz tattoo. Dr Thredson pops in and diagnoses her with postpartum psychosis. Knowing that Dr Arden will be back at some point, and will take revenge on Anne/Charlotte, Sister Jude releases her into the custody of her husband.

Kit and Grace are still in solitary confinement, talking through the walls about their upcoming sterilizations. Kit asks Grace if she's scared. Sister Satan Mary Eunice arrives and informs Kit that Sister Jude has decided to forgive him of his sexual transgressions and will not be sterilizing him. Kit's let out of solitary, but Grace learns she will not be shown the same mercy. Kit is taken to Dr Thredson to continue his last day of therapy, and tapes a confession for Thredson. Grace is taken to....the mother ship? Yup, alien abduction folks, and seems Kit's "deceased" wife, Alma, is there too (who looks very pregnant by the way).  Some freaky Fire in the Sky type surgery is performed while Grace screams in agony.  Later on, Kit finds a post-surgery Grace bleeding in the common room and is arrested for his "confession tape" Grace screams after him that Alma is alive and that is whole story is true.

Dr Arden returns from the emergency room sporting a very Nazi-like cane and an enormous grudge towards Sister Jude. Dr Arden promises that Sister Jude is finished at Briarcliff, as he will  be filing a complaint with the Monsignor to have her removed. Sister Jude then has a discussion with Frank the guard about her impending firing, and tells this story that should honestly snag the Emmy next year for Jessica Lange:

You know, when I was a child, I’d come home after school to an empty house. My father had flown the coop, and my mother worked as a maid in a hotel. It was lonely, so I brought in a baby squirrel I’d found, and kept him in a shoe box. And then, one day, when I came home, he looked sickly. He was dead already, but I didn’t know that. I’d forgotten to… feed him for a couple days. So I took him out of the box and I laid him on the table and I prayed my heart out for several hours. And when my mother came home and found us, she screamed bloody murder. She picked him up and threw him in the garbage. She worked hard, my mother. She was exhausted, and she couldn’t have known how cruel that was. But I cried and cried, saying, “God didn’t answer my prayers!” I remember… my mother was pouring herself a whiskey; the Martin family cure for everything. She looked at me and laughed. “God always answers our prayers, Judy. It’s just rarely… the answer we’re looking for.”

Later on, we see Sister Jude head out in street clothes and out in a bar. Has she completely lost her faith, or is this a temporary transgression?

Sister Satan changes Dr Arden's bandaged leg and apologizes for her"out-of-character" come on. Dr Arden thanks her for taking care of his situation. "Our situation" she corrects him. We see a short flashback of Sister Satan dragging Shelley (stumps a'flailing) across the floor. One would assume that Sister Satan leaves Shelley in the woods with the rest of the creatures, but we're given a hilarious scene of school children finding Shelley in a stairwell. Wonder how this will play out?

Anne/Charlotte is brought back to Briarcliff after attempting to smother their baby. The husband meets Dr Arden and is convinced to give Anne/Charlotte a lobotomy right there on the spot. Dr Arden promises she can go home that night and be as good as new. Cut to an intense scene of an orbitoclast headed straight into Anne/Charlotte's eye. We later see Anne/Charlotte at home, a "new" woman. As the scene fades, the camera zooms in on an old Nazi war photo that appears to show a young Dr Arden standing behind Hitler. Hmmm.

Now, I've saved this chunk for last, because it's a shocker! Dr Thredson decides to make good on his promise last episode to help Lana escape Briarcliff. As it's his last day there, he tells Lana to meet him under the staircase at 6pm sharp. The duo meet, and he tells her to just walk out with him. This manages to work, although Frank the guard almost sees them as he comes out to ask Dr Thredson to go see Sister Jude. "I don't work here, actually tell Sister Jude I never worked here" is Thredson's reply to Frank. Lana arrives at Dr Thredson's swank 60s home, and  he offers her some wine. She wants to go to her home, and to call a friend, but Thredson persuades her that they have to keep a low profile until they talk to the press and police in the morning. There's a shift in Thredson's demeanor a bit and the camera pans over to this lamp in his living room:

If you somehow missed the nipple lamp, then the bowl of mints in a hollowed out skull he passes to Lana should have tipped you off that Dr Thredson is twisted. Lana tries to play it cool and asks to use the bathroom, as the wine has gone to her head. In the hallway, she starts trying door handles, looking for an escape. Instead, she finds Dr Thredson's  hobby room.

Thredson walks in on Lana. Thredson says she has found his hobby, which Lana asks is making furniture. He replies it's mostly lamps. Lana asks what kinds of material he uses, and as Thredson replies "skin", he hits a button to his right and Lana drops through the floor. WTF! Lana comes to on a tile floor in a basement that looks converted for medical use. She's chained by her ankle and notices someone else next to her. OMG, it's her lover, Wendy! Lana approaches her and screams in terror as she realizes Wendy has been dead for some time and kept in a freezer.

Thredson reappears and tells Lana Wendy is there to continue her therapy. "You can start by kissing her cold dead lips" Thredson says, and then tells her not to worry, she won't bite. Then he slip this shit on:

Holy shit, Thredson is Bloody Face!!!! Wendy isn't going to bite because he added her teeth to the mask. TWIST!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I do fear that Lana is in for a world of pain, which is a shame because I really do enjoy her character. Can't wait for next week to see what Bloody Face Thredson has in store for her.
Thoughts?

The Walking Dead Recap: S3E5 "Say The Word"

This week's episode of The Walking Dead decided to go a little easier on us, after last episode's shit show. Keeping up with Plesantville Woodbury, we find The Governor brushing the hair of a child. But wait, the kid just got scalped, and holy crap it's a walker! Not just any walker either, it's The Governor's daughter, Penny. Oh you crazy bastard!

Michonne knows things are not right in Woodbury, and goes sneaking around while the rest  the town is enjoying some nice chilled beverages. She finds her sword, The Governor's List O' The Dead, and a group of penned zombies, which she hacks to pieces. Michonne is busted, and brought before The Governor.

Ultimately,  Michonne decides to leave, and Andrea decides to stay because Andrea is the  biggest dumbass ever. I can't stand Andrea, and I'm not sure if she's power hungry and sees a chance with The Governor, or she's just lazy and wants some security in psycho-town? Honestly, not interested. Can Andrea become Zombie Alpo already? The Governor's party gets into full swing, and we see Merle in full Gladiator mode fighting off some chained zombies. Andrea questions The Governor on this, feeling it's barbaric, and gets a pat on the head in return and decides to be okay with everything.

Now we head over to Cell Block C to check on the rest of our cast. As expected, Rick is riding the crazy train, and decides to go on a zombie killing spree rather than take care of his newborn and an obviously shell-shocked Carl. Maggie and Daryl decide to head out and find some formula for the baby. Glenn tries to reach out to Rick and gets his ass handed to him, everyone assumes Carol is dead, and Maggie and Daryl finally find some formula (and dinner) and head back.

Also, Daryl names the baby Little Ass Kicker Grimes and makes the ovaries of every fan girl explode when he feeds the baby. True Story.

Rick's deep in the prison on a rage bender, and eventually comes across a very swollen zombie near where Lori died. Obviously, this zombie had Lori (who hasn't?) for dinner, and Rick goes loco on it.

As the episode nears the end, we hear a phone ringing. Is this in Rick's imagination? Rick picks up the phone, and we'll have to wait until next week to see who's on the other end. Thoughts?

American Horror Story Asylum Recap: S2E4 "I Am Anne Frank Part 1"

 Episode 4 of American Horror Story: Asylum shows the patients at Briarcliff Asylum getting back to "normal" after last episode's Nor'easter. We open with Sister Jude seeing to a patient that has just been brought in. The patient is a woman ( played by Franka Potente), and after a brief exchange with Sister Jude, we learn she has been brought in for a bar fight over anti-Semitic comments. The patient quips "I stabbed them. They will live. But they will never forget".

We cut to a gruesome scene of Shelley's recently amputated stumps slapping against Dr Arden's surgical table. Dr Arden is seen drawing some unknown substance into a huge syringe. As he goes to inject the serum directly into Shelley's head (which is looking a lot like moldy cheese), she asks "Will I die?" Dr Arden sadistically responds "No, as a matter of fact, after this you'll probably live forever." Is this how Dr Arden has been making those hungry "zombies" out in the woods?

We find Kit and Grace in the asylum's bakery, discussing Kit's latest trip to Dr Arden's. The weird chip that Dr Arden extracted from Kit episodes ago has gone missing. Dr Arden wants to know "which orifice it went back in through?". Let's hope Kit didn't have to turn his head and cough. Kit then prods at Grace to find out why she is in Briarcliff. She relates the story of how she was framed for murder by her step-sister Patsy. Patsy and her lover wanted the family farm, so they murdered the parents with an axe and pinned it on Grace. We get a peek of Grace's stepmother's intestines and chopped limbs all stacked up like cord wood in a kitchen pantry.

So what's Lana up to this episode? Well, we find her and Dr Thredson discussing her stay at Briarcliff, and how he does not believe Lana needs to be locked up for being a homosexual. He suggests using Inversion/Conversion Therapy to help convince Sister Jude that Lana can be released. Lana politely declines.

The new inmate (who's still nameless at this point) is writing in her diary (which she calls Kitty - foreshadowing) out in the common room. Lana attempts to be friendly and dissuade the new patient from writing out in the open, as it is a punishable offense. During this conversation, Dr Arden walks in, and the new patient goes ape shit on him. She starts screaming "You were at Auschwitz! Nazi!".

Sister Jude halls the patient into her office to find out what all the commotion is about. The patient tells Sister Jude she is Anne Frank. Yes, seriously, THAT Anne Frank. Anne spills her back story, saying that she survived, met an American solider in Germany, married, and moved to America with him. When her diary was published, she chose to keep her identity secret, as she felt she did more good as a dead girl and martyr, than revealing she was still alive. Sister Jude calls her indecent and a liar.

Meanwhile, Kit and Dr Thredson are discussing Kit's upcoming sanity hearing. Dr Thredson believes that Kit is not evil, so will lie and say that he is insane rather than have to face the electric chair. However, Dr Thredson does not buy Kit's story that aliens killed his wife, so Kit will have to agree to unrepress the memories of what he actually did to all those murdered women. He believes that Kit couldn't handle his secret inter-racial marriage, and so killed to release "pressure". Numerous gory crime scene photos are shown.

 Anne then divulges to Sister Jude that Dr Arden is actually a Nazi doctor by the name of Hans Grouper. She remembers him from Auschwitz and how he used  to drag girls away from her bunker, who would then return horribly sick and mentally damaged beyond repair. Sister Jude's eyes light up like Christmas Trees at this confession.

After a brief dream state where Lana pictures herself getting a journalism award in the middle of the asylum's common room and a very uncomfortable shot of the asylum's chronic masturbator, she decides to go ahead and try Dr Thredson's reparative therapy. 

Down in the asylum's bakery gain, Kit is beating up dough, literally, when Grace pops back in. Kit's struggling with whether he did commit those murders, and while putting Grace in a choke hold demands to know "AM I A KILLER?". This seems to melt Grace's heart and panties drop. 10 seconds of painful looking dry sex later, the duo are caught fornicating by one of the guards and drug to Sister Jude.

 Sister Satan Mary Eunice finally shows up this episode, gleefully picking a cane out for Kit and Grace's punishment.My favorite line of this episode is Sister Jude looking at Sister Possessed By The Devil Mary Eunice and saying "I don't know what's gotten into you lately but I like it.". Sister Jude decides the best punishment for Kit and Grace would be sterilization, but before she can talk about it any further, she's interrupted by a guard saying that police detectives are there to question Dr Arden.As Sister Jude leaves, Sister Mary Eunice hands Kit Grace's file, advising that some aren't as innocent as they seem.

Sister Jude barrages into Dr Arden's office and meets the police detectives. Seems the prostitute Dr Arden tried to beat up in the last episode has filed charges, also claiming there was Nazi Memorabilia in his bedroom. Sister Jude is having a field day with this revelation, and Dr Arden storms out, claiming it is all a lie. The detectives pose an interesting question to Sister Jude: did she think Kit had the surgical skill to remove women's skin and heads in those murders? Cue fingers pointing towards Dr Arden in future episodes!

 Now, we get to the scene that was the least "horrifying", but scared me the most. Lana begins inversion therapy with Dr Thredson, and starts it off whole hog because he only has a week left at Braircliff. Lana is forced to watch a slideshow of "sexy girl" images, including one of her now dead girlfriend (how the hell did her get that?!!), while being pumped full of IV drugs that make her want to vomit. Which she does. A lot. He then brings in asylum hottie Daniel, and makes her jerk off while jerking him off as part of the conversion therapy. Ugh. I think the scariest thing about that scene is that shit like that actually happened, and still does in Christian "gay camps" across the country.  Lana throws up and Daniel is escorted out. Dr Thredson exclaims that this won't work, but he promises to get her out of Briarcliff before the week is up. I think Dr Thredson is a sadistic fuck hiding under a nice guy exterior. Time will tell.

 Sister Jude brings her concerns about Dr Arden to Monsignor Timothy, who accuses her of being a drunk again and believing an inmate over a colleague. He sends her out of his office with a stern command to reflect on herself, and then picks up the phone and tells Dr Arden to dump his memorabilia. Shocker! Sister Jude visits her Mother Superior for confession and guidance, and we get a great speech on how the men in he Catholic Church are basically cover-up geniuses.

 Kit is returned to his cell, and as Grace begins talking to him through the walls, he asks why did she lie about her family. Grace changes her tune, saying that her father molested her, and her stepmother drugged her on Ketamine to keep her quiet, so she gave them 40 whacks Lizzie Borden style and was caught by her step-sister. WTF moment: Grace asks "Are you repulsed?" which Kit replies with "No, I admire you". Kit is then seen in Sister Jude's office asking for forgiveness, because he is unsure now of whether aliens did kill his wife or he did. Sister Jude is in a quandary after possibly seeing an alien last episode, so just embraces Kit instead and offers to help absolve him of his sins.

Dr Arden drags Anne into his laboratory offices to demand  answers on the rumors she's spreading. As Dr Arden goes to rough her up, Anne pulls a gun out. Seems she pick-pocketed it from the detectives who had been at the asylum earlier. As she rants at him, a loud noise jars her. Dr Arden tries to grab her, and she shoots him in the leg. Hooray! The noise happens again from behind a door, and Anne demands his keys, or she'll shoot him in the other leg. As Anne, opens the door, we are confronted with a stumpy Shelley on the floor, looking like a burnt cheese pizza, begging to be killed.

Weird episode this week. I'm not sure how I feel about the Anne Frank story line, but am looking forward to it playing out next week. Thoughts?

The Walking Dead Recap - S304 "Killer Within"

Well, this week's The Walking Dead episode sure had this household in a tizzy and may be the best episode of the series. I have not read the graphic novels (am waiting until after the show is over), so I did not see this coming! Episode 4, "Killer Within", went like most series' finale episodes. Total carnage. Here's the breakdown:

We open with a mysterious figure baiting walkers with a deer corpse into the gates of the prison. We see a lock busted with an axe, and a heart left out for Rick and the crew. This can't be a good thing. Nothing is ever a good thing in Walking Dead land.

We switch over to Michonne  in The Governor's creepy ass Pleasantville Woodbury, checking out the National Guard vehicles obtained in last week's episode. Michonne is no fool, and recognizes fresh bullet holes and blood stains when she sees them. She also has the advantage of not being dickmytized by The Governor like fucking Andrea. So, when The Governor asks Michonne to stay and be a solider at Woodbury, she declines. (Can we please have more Michonne scenes, PLEASE!!!!).

Back at the prison, Glenn and Maggie are getting it on in the guard tower, and the crew is in full yard clean up mode. Axel and Oscar come out looking to join Rick's side of the prison. T-dog gets more lines than ever as he and Rick debate letting the remaining prisoners join them. Rick's cold, cold heart wins out, and he goes to send them down the road with a week's worth of supplies. Herschel decides to take his new stump out for a spin, and it appears that everyone is outside all at once. Which means shit is going to hit the fan. Which it does.

Swarms of walkers come into the previously secure grounds. Glenn decapitates a walker's skull in a most bad ass scene, Hershel and Beth go one direction, Lori, Maggie, and Carl another. Rick, Glen and Daryl race through the maze of gates and Carol and T-Dog are left in the courtyard fighting off Walkers. T-dog gets a huge chunk bitten out of his shoulder (NO!!! You bastards!) and him and Carol run off. Rick finds Hershel, then realizes Lori is no where to be found. Then sirens start off, and the walkers take that as their cue that dinner is served.


Of course during this pivotal moment, we have to cut away back to Woodbury. Merle uses his best psycho charm to figure out why he and Andrea never hooked up. Best line of this scene: "Because you called me a whore and a rug muncher". Also, because you are a racist piece of shit, Merle. Andrea gives Merle the location of the farm where she last saw Merle's brother, Darryl. Merle asks The Governor's permission to go search for his brother and is shut down.

Back at the prison, Rick has a brief blame game moment on Axel and Oscar, then realizes some else has set off the alarms. Off Glenn, Rick, Darryl and Oscar head to find the generator room to shut off the sirens before a herd appears. Lori, Maggie, and Carl are deep in the prison, and can't find a path clear of walkers to get back to their cell block. They duck into some sort of electrical closet, and Lori goes into labor. Seriously? Super Seriously. Maggie is going to have to deliver this baby!

T-dog and Carol are running in the dark in the prison, and T-Dog sacrifices himself  to let Carol escape though the only unblocked exit. RIP T-Dog. It's not fair that you had to die, but Andrea keeps on trucking.

We find Rick in the generator room about to shut off the sirens when he's attacked by a still-very-much-alive Andrew. Who the hell is Andrew, you ask? He's the prisoner Rick chased out into a yard full of walkers and then left him there to become Zombie Alpo. Oscar shoots Andrew in the head after a tussle , earning Rick's trust. Rick turns the generators off and heads back through the prison to find the rest of the crew. They find T-Dog’s body but no sign of Carol besides her head scarf.

Definitely in labor, Lori's trying to push and only accomplishing bleeding all over the place. Maggie doesn't think she's dilated enough, and then shit gets real. Real crazy. Lori convinces Maggie that she has to do a C-Section, right then and there. With no anesthetic and no chance of survival, Lori has an intense moment with Carl and I almost gave 2 shits about Lori for the first time ever in this series. Maggie then does this, with Carl's knife:

OMGWTFBBQ!! Disgusting! Lori's passed out from blood loss and shock, and while Maggie's swaddling the baby that she just pulled out from Lori's stomach, Carl puts a bullet in his mom's head so she doesn't turn into a walker. I had a moment where I hoped Maggie wouldn't cut the cord in time, and we'd have a zombie hybrid baby on our hands, but no such luck.

Back in the prison yard, everyone is accounted for except for Carol, Carl, Lori, and Maggie. Rick's planning a search for them when he hears a baby's cry. Cut to Maggie and Carl walking in with the baby, covered in blood and sans Lori. Rick loses his ever-loving shit and crumples to the ground. I also thought the looks he was giving Carl before completely falling down  suggests he is going to blame his son for this. Thoughts?

So, we end up with T-dog and Lori dead. Carol is possibly dead. Rick has lost it, and Andrea wants Michonne and her to stay longer in Woodbury so Andrea can tap that ass on the Governor. Can't wait for Sunday's next episode!